you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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