Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
