In the future we'll all be gay
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
