once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
She needs sedatives and a leash
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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