I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Randomize
