Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
