just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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