I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
