I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
