It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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