just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Randomize
