I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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