Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
