There was a lot of him and a little penis
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize