Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
