FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
