I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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