Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
