R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
