somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
