I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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