if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
