I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
