Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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