Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
