Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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