Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize