I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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