i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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