Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
