Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
