We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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