How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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