she looked like the bat from fern gully.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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