Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
