Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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