Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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