Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
