yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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