So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
this must be what syphilis tastes like
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
