so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
