four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
