Bisexual people are plain selfish.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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