I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
