Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
