why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
