And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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