Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
