What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
