I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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