Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
