you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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