They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
They have beer where we have blood.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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