Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize