Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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