Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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