Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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