You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
