I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
We're too hungover to prance.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
