let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
do herpes really smell.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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