just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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