Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
