I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
