recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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